When Marriage Hurts

What happens when a Christian marriage isn't simply difficult?

What if there is emotional or psychological abuse? Sexual rejection or control? Financial control? Manipulation? Neglect?

And what happens to a woman when she's been taught that faithfulness means enduring almost anything?

Sexual Loneliness

What happens when you're married—and profoundly sexually lonely?

What do we do with desire, rejection, masturbation, shame, intimacy, and sexuality when the usual Christian conversations about sex don't seem to describe our lives?

Can we talk about the bodies God created without being ashamed of them?

Divorce

What does the Bible actually say about divorce?

What about abuse? Abandonment? Neglect? Covenant?

And what happens when “God hates divorce” has become the end of a conversation Jesus never intended us to stop having?

Motherhood

What happens when you adore your children and still feel like motherhood has swallowed you whole?

When you're exhausted. Touched out. Lonely. Resentful. Overwhelmed.

When everyone knows you as Mom—

but you're no longer sure you know the woman underneath it.

Faith When God Doesn't Do What You Asked

What happens when you pray for healing and healing doesn't come?

When you believe for a miracle that doesn't happen?

When you've been told that maybe you just needed more faith?

Is faith trusting God—or believing hard enough to get the outcome we want?

Hearing God

God told me.

It's one of the most powerful things a Christian can say.

But what happens when we get it wrong?

How do we discern God's voice through Scripture, prayer, impressions, dreams, other people, silence—and our own desires?

Can admitting we misheard God actually be an act of faith?

Loneliness, Waiting & Wanting to Be Loved

What do we do with loneliness when the Christian answer seems to be Jesus should be enough?

What about the desire for companionship? Marriage? Sex? Touch? Being known? Being chosen?

Can we deeply love God and still ache for another human being?

 

Why I Wrote This Book

For years, I believed that if I could just do more, love more, pray more, submit better, endure longer, and hold everything together, eventually everything would be okay.

It wasn't.

My story includes marriage, motherhood, loss, abuse, sexual loneliness, divorce, unanswered prayer, waiting, hearing God, getting it wrong, healing, and rebuilding.

But this book isn't ultimately about me.

I wrote it for the woman sitting in church carrying something she doesn't know how to say out loud.

For the woman Googling questions late at night because she doesn't know whom she can safely ask.

For the woman who loves Jesus but wonders why the answers she's been given haven't touched the thing that's actually hurting.

For the woman whose relationship with faith has become complicated.

And for the woman who doesn't know Jesus yet—but wonders whether the God she's heard about could possibly meet her here.

You are welcome in these pages.

I'm Not Interested in Easy Answers

This book isn't an argument against the church.

I love the church.

And it isn't an attempt to replace Scripture with personal experience.

It's an invitation to bring our actual experiences into the light of Scripture instead of pretending they don't exist.

There are places in my story where I got things wrong.

There are prayers God didn't answer the way I wanted.

There were things I believed God said that I later had to reconsider.

There are questions for which I still don't have neat answers.

I think our faith can handle that.

More importantly, I believe Jesus can handle our questions.

Maybe We Need Better Questions

Not simply:

How do I save my marriage?

But:

Is this marriage safe, mutual, and faithful to covenant?

Not simply:

How can I be a better mother?

But:

What happened to the woman behind the word Mom?

Not simply:

How do I stop feeling lonely?

But:

Why are we ashamed to admit that Christians can be profoundly lonely?

Not simply:

Do I have enough faith?

But:

What does faith look like when God doesn't give me what I asked for?

Not simply:

Did God tell me this?

But:

How do I faithfully discern His voice—and remain humble enough to admit when I may have been wrong?

Those are harder questions.

I think they're worth asking.

You Don't Have to Hide the Hard Parts Here.

You don't have to pretend your marriage doesn't hurt.

You don't have to pretend motherhood hasn't cost you something.

You don't have to pretend you're not lonely.

You don't have to pretend you never question God.

You don't have to pretend faith has made every painful thing make sense.

And you don't have to clean up your story before you bring it to Jesus.

You are worth knowing.

Your life still has purpose.

And you are deeply loved.

Be Part of the Beginning

What We Don't Talk About in Church is coming soon.

Join the book list for early excerpts, honest conversations, behind-the-scenes updates, and first access when the book becomes available.

BE THE FIRST TO KNOW